*knock knock knock* Penny?

Posts tagged awesome

198,806 notes

nothingeverlost:

whatwouldfezwear:

the-sarcastic-robot:

if you want to kill someone stab them with an icicle because the icicle will melt and then there will be no murder weapon

Better yet, make like one of my favorite short stories and murder them with big frozen leg of lamb and then cook the lamb. 

Then when the police arrive offer them something to eat and then have the police eat your murder weapon. 

image

I love that story

I love that that story is written by the same person who wrote Charlie and the Chocolate factory.

NO NO NO NO NO THIS DESCRIPTION DOES NOT DO THE STORY JUSTICE IT IS THE MOST CLEVER AND BRILLIANT MURDER MYSTERY IN THE UNIVERSE READ IT READ IT READ IIIIIIIITTTTTT!!!!!!!!!

(Source: katorade27)

Filed under lamb to the slaughter leg of lamb short story short stories awesome hilarious gif

16,595 notes

WHAT IF AUCaptain America: The Winter Soldier, role swap (Sharon, Steve, Bucky, Natasha)

GIVE US THE PRECIOUS!!!!!!!!!

EDIT:  You know what gif this needs?  This needs a gif of Jane Fonda in Monster In Law, when she’s just gaping at that little twat of a pop star and then screams and lunges at her.  That’s the gif this post needs.

EDIT 2:  Not pictured: Sam Wilson is still hanging out and being a flying smartass.

(Source: loveholic198, via thatblackwidowgirl)

Filed under sharon carter agent 13 steve rogers captain america bucky barnes the winter soldier natasha romanoff black widow marvel gif awesome amazing want gimme sam wilson falcon captain america 2

17,248 notes

cptstvrgrs:

avengers au where clint’s got his hearing aids but he turns them off when hes bored so that he can try to decipher what everyones saying
and no one knows he does it but they think its weird when he misses huge gaps of a story or throws in an oddly specific detail that never happened or gets a name really wrong on an official report
tony and nat try to piece together whats happening through increasingly convoluted ways that may result in more than a few injuries
steves convinced its just something left over from when loki was in his head and he keeps trying to get sam to talk to him about it
bruce starts trying to develop a new hearing aid that’ll register the sound better (clint accepts them and then proceeds to continue turning those ones off too)
and then one day thor’s telling a story about loki’s embarrassing childhood and he just offhandedly says ‘tell barton to turn his ears on, he will like the next part’ and the room just goes quiet as they realize theres absolutely nothing wrong with clint hes just been being a shit the entire time

And Thor knows exactly what’s going on because Loki is also a little shit who gets bored when those beneath him are talking and uses magic to achieve the same results.

(via cyprith)

Filed under thor loki hawkeye avengers the avengers marvel hearing aids funny awesome clint barton

34,137 notes

hoodiecap asked: Cap visits a school assembly and they have him lead the pledge of allegiance but "under God" wasn't added until he went under the ice so he doesn't know that part so he doesn't say it and the next day all the headlines say "CAPTAIN AMERICA FORGETS GOD" and FoxNews freaks out.

Filed under steve rogers captain america marvel fox news jon stewart funny hilarious awesome accurate